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    Saturday Night Card Game (The Biggest Problem With Christmas Is … Racist Relatives?)

    Saturday Night Card Game (The Biggest Problem With Christmas Is … Racist Relatives?)

    This is the latest in a series on the use of the race card for political gain:

    Wasn’t sure if I should post tonight, so I’ll keep this brief.  If not today for the topic of this post, when?

    At Feministe there was a post by Jill (you remember her), titled Dealing with racist relatives during the holidays, centered around this reader story:

    I’m dreading going home for Christmas this year. At Thanksgiving one of my family members made an ugly racist comment that really made my blood boil. I stated that the comment was racist and I was met with condescending laughter. I left the house for a while because I was so angry, and when I got back, others tried to explain to me why their racist beliefs were important, and why I should believe them too. I was so horrified I basically didn’t talk to anyone for the rest of the day. Everyone I’ve talked to so far has told me “they don’t know any better”. This doesn’t seem at all adequate but I don’t know what else to do- the oldest generation of my family has no idea that hating people is even wrong. Where do you start with people like that?

    One of the commenters at Feministe linked to the video below, giving instructions on how to tell people they are racist.


    The Daily Dish had a similar theme, How Do You Deal With Racist Relatives Over The Holidays? Ctd, which had a series of reader questions and stories (more here, here and here), including this one:

    I’m curious as to how readers deal with homophobic relatives. My partner is from Indiana and his immediate family is very supportive and gay friendly, but his more distant relatives are a complete question mark. I am dreading meeting his father’s cousin’s family for Christmas. My partner is apprehensive as well, since in his words they are “complete hicks.” There is no way I’m going as his “friend” this time. We are way passed [sic] that in our relationship.

    I don’t claim any expertise on Christmas gatherings.  Is it really that bad out there for you?  Can’t you folks just get together for dinner without talking racist and homophobic trash?

    Or is this just more prepping of the political battlefield?

    For those of you who have not experienced racist comments at Christmas dinner, you probably aren’t listening carefully enough.  Please follow these instructions on How to Recognize Racism.

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    I too found the remark about 'complete hicks' to be interesting. I think any time, in life, you go out looking for 'approval' for certain viewpoints, you run the risk of disappointment. Statistically speaking, there is enough variance in terms of 'opinion' on a given subject that makes that so. Strict values aside, tolerance or lack thereof plays a role, as well as the expanded definition of 'racism'.

    Things my parents/grandparents said:

    "Different strokes for different folks"
    "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it"
    "Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one"
    "Better to shut up and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

    The reason I share these cogent concepts is because too often we get the 'old-fashioned' eye-rolling, the snickering about 'the old days', etc. This works hand in hand with the assault on tradition and the forgettable introduction of 'critical thinking' which really is just about values modification.

    Our pathetic education system plays a huge part. If you have any curiosity about the gist of which I speak, get a copy of 'The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America', it is available for free download as a .pdf on the 'net.

    okay i am not totally down with this post.

    i mean it depends on the context. if someone says, "geez, this obamacare is going to force me to cut off health care for the children of my employees" and you reply, "omg, that is so racist" well, that is silliness.

    But you know i had a step grandfather who joked about getting himself a n—-r to help him out with stuff. that is right, in the new millenium, this a55hole was telling slavery jokes.

    and my wife is asian, right, so what do i do if someone says something racist about asians? thank god no one alive in my family is likely to do that, but that is because all my grand parents were dead. when my grandmother was alive, i wouldn't take my wife to see her. my logic was this. my grandmother won't remember. she was too far gone to remember anything. she didn't even know her husband was dead. we tried telling her twice and she went through the grieving, twice. but when it became clear that she didn't remember anymore, we decided not to make it a third time. So whether i was there or not, she wouldn't even know. so all we get is bad feelings for my wife, that will last forever, but my grandmother won't remember and won't learn to be cool with her (because you have to remember stuff in order to learn), which begs the question: why bother?

    if you want to keep racial issues out of holidays then if you hate people of other races, keep it to yourself.

    and actually in general stay out of politics, too. whoever drags politics and race into family time is being an idiot.

    Btw, semi-funny story about my grandmother. my mom told me around 2003 that she figured out my grandmother believed it was 1991. I replied, "well, that's not surprising. she turns on the TV to see President George Bush, along with Dick Cheney and Colin Powell, all talking on TV about how they are going to kick Sadam's a55. Its confusing."

    I had a leftist professor constantly perched on his soapbox tell our class, "I wish I had a nickel for every time the person sitting next to me on an airplane started making racist comments in our conversation." Really? I've done a lot of flying and never once experienced that. Wish I had a nickel for every time it didn't happen.

    I've been reminiscing since my mom passed away last week. I miss my dad (he loved my mom) speaking of her Chicago Czech neighborhood in endearing terms such as, "Those goddamned Bohunks." I tease my Asian wife and she teases me about my background. We now live in a society where words hurt us more than sticks and stones.

    Remember folks, "racist" means "you're beating a leftist in an argument".

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