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    Milk is Oil

    Milk is Oil

    No really. Milk is Oil according to the EPA, EPA classifies milk as oil, forcing costly rules on farmers:

    Having watched the oil gushing in the Gulf of Mexico, dairy farmer Frank Konkel has a hard time seeing how spilled milk can be labeled the same kind of environmental hazard.

    But the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is classifying milk as oil because it contains a percentage of animal fat, which is a non-petroleum oil.

    The Hesperia farmer and others would be required to develop and implement spill prevention plans for milk storage tanks. The rules are set to take effect in November, though that date might be pushed back.

    There will be no Gulf Oil Spill in dairyland. Our government is on the job.

    I wish I could think up some more snark about this, so help me out.

    (h/t to Small Dead Animals via Watts Up With That)

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    I live across the street from a public school.

    How would I go about demanding to see their hazmat contingency plan and MSDS sheets? I wouldn't want some kid spilling his or her milk in the cafeteria and contaminating the whole neighborhood.

    Future News,

    The EPA announced today that a 2,500,000 gallon milk spill was narrowly averted in Barrington, MO, at the farm of John Milkman.

    Reporter: What is the story here?
    Milkman: We have a 2,500 gallon tank here for the milking operation. Pretty big, if I say so myself. Well, I was walking by the tank, when my pants pocket caught on the delivery valve, and some milk began leaking out.

    Reporter: A disaster!
    Milkman: I suppose. Well, that EPA man in that kiosk over there, the one assigned to me, he saw it pretty fast, and yelled at me to turn off the valve. Sure, I did that quick.

    Reporter: How much milk spilled?
    Milkman: Uh, about five gallons, I think, but those three EPA inspectors over there will know the exact amount by the end of the day, they say.

    Reporter: Are you in trouble?
    Milkman: They say that I have to pay a fine, and file a plan for wearing different pants, so that this can't ever happen again.

    Reporter: I also see a Fish and Wildlife team.
    Milkman: Sure, something about an endangered earthworm. Life sure is complex these days. And those other guys are checking the ground water.

    Reporter: Thankfully, a disaster was averted.
    Milkman: Yeah, I just want to start operations again in two days like they promised. Those cows are getting upset.

    – –
    EPA Purity of Essence

    A collection of stories about the bonehead decisions of our EPA and government about handling the oil spill. Not as funny as this Future News, and even more stupid.

    This power grab by the EPA is udderly ridiculous!

    I worked for a Papermill for 12 years and one of the goofiest spill reports that I saw was for a spill of approx. 12,000 gallons of "mill water" which is water from the river that had been clarified and sanitized with chlorine for mill use, but not for drinking. even though it was water cleaner than the source we had to report the spill and pay our fine!

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